the truth

listen, my friend listen! no, don’t run away stop! i have something to tell you something very important something that must be said it is just this - just this - life has no meaning! life has no meaning! life has no meaning! yes, you heard me - i said it and i am glad the truth is out now i am sorry, deeply sorry if ii have destroyed your life and forced you to face reality but i could not help it i have had it burning within me all these long years i could not hold it in any longer i just could not and now it is out and you will just have to do the best you can

yeggo and lainie

yeggo was a homeless bum. he was sitting on a bench at a bus stop, eating a glazed donut. lainey came along. lainey was a hot young chick with long legs and long blonde hair. she took her place beside the sign saying “bus stop” and took her phone out of her purse and began tapping on it. hey sweetie, yeggo called to her, why don’t you come over here and sit beside me. your nice long legs will get tired standing up like that. fuck you, you smelly bum, lainey replied, don’t talk to me or i’ll call the police. aw, i bet if you turned around and smiled you would like nice. although i do like that ass. lainey did not respond, but continued tapping on her phone. you know, yeggo said, we are really a lot alike. we are both human beings. this got a laugh out of lainey. i bet other people could not even tell us apart, yeggo persisted. yeah, right. i’m calling the cops right now, smelly bum. let’s try it, we will ask the next person who comes along. a man in a yankees cap came along. hey, yeggo called to the man in the yankee cap, which of us is dick and which is jane? can you tell? suck my dick, the man in the yankees cap replied, and walked past. next harold watersten, a professor of moleculat anthropology at nyu, came along. which of us is dick and which is jane, yeggo asked again. i’m just a poor jew, the professor told him, ask a fucking expert. and he walked on. next queen elizabeth came along, accompanied by her royal guard. yeggo asked the question again. but the royal guard stuck his bayonet in yeggo’s face and the queen walked on without replying. stuck up bitch! yeggo shouted after her. i only asked a question. next spot came running along. who’s dick and who’s jane? yeggo shouted at him, but the little dog sped past, barking happily. and then mary poppins came running along, chasing spot, and holding her hat on her head to keep it from blowing off. but she was running so fast that yeggo did not have time to shout his question. all the while lainie was looking at her phone. where are the goddamned cops, she asked, or the bus? just then the bus pulled up and stopped. the driver, ralph kramden, got off the bus. sorry folks, he told lainie and yeggo, this bus is out of commission. you can guess what happened next. how about you? can you tell yeggo and lainie apart?

the four passengers

a dead bird blows down the street in the wind a styrofoam cup follows it in the same wind a leaf shakes on a branch above a park bench but stays on the tree night falls and a bus arrives with three passengers on it one looks out the window another reads a newspaper the third stares at his own feet the new passenger takes a seat and takes a snickers bar out of his pocket and begins to unwrap it as the wheels of the bus roll over the dead bird but miss the styrofoam cup

the void

a bird flew across the sky then another then another a pigeon landed on the roof then another then another juan delivered a pizza then another willie delivered an american grinder with fries maurice got up then went back to bed then maurice got up again maurice remembered carol i’ll kill hat bitch, he said to himself actually he said it aloud, but nobody heard him down the hall jack got up then he went back to bed a pigeon landed on the roof then another juan delivered another pizza willie took a break and called charlene a bird flew across the sky and then another an ant crawled across the sidewalk and then another this is just a small sample people say life is mysterious but what is so mysterious about it?

kitten up a tree

o mother mother must i die yes my child and here is why birds no longer fill the skies and the seas begin to rise kittens no longer climb up trees or butterflies float on the breeze grandma’s recipe for cherry pie is lost and forgotten (sigh) i fear that since i saw you last the present has destroyed the past humans have run out of room and are ruled by an empire of doom i have to say this makes me sad you were the only child i had living in the only universe and things are steadily getting worse i can’t remember, though i try if i was the kitten or the butterfly if you were the tree i climbed or only the blue sky i left behind