Saturday, August 2, 2014

14 poems


life is futile



life is empty



life is boring



nobody loves me



nobody likes me



everybody hates me



you makes me sick



people are such assholes



i never asked to be born



we are all going to die some day



smile, god damn it



turn that frown upside down



my ass is sore



shut your mouth


Sunday, April 13, 2014

dick poem #1

joey's mom came home early
one gray afternoon

and found him
sitting with the sound off
on the television

playing with his peepee

excuse me
i mean with his dick

aren't you a big boy to be playing
with your peepee
she asked him

why don't you go out
and get a real girl friend

i am not thinking about girls
he answered

i am thinking about getting
by guys with hairy balls and big dicks

oh, she replied
in that case
why are you playing with your own


if that is your preferred fantasy

i would think you would
to stick something up your


there must be something around here
with all

the junk cluttering the place up
because you never clean it up
that you can stick up your


no said joey
i am saving my money
to go on line

and buy a sex


to stick up my ass

big time

that sounds pretty stupid to me
said mom
and besides

you don't have any money
so how can you be saving it
what would you like for dinner

cajun fried chicken
or salisbury steak
(note: these are both tv dinners)

i know it's early to be eating dinner but i'm

hungry right now

with a sigh
joey put his


back in his pants

he didn't like it when his


and/or his


were interrupted

(end of dick poem #1)

Monday, March 3, 2014


"and then what?" - oswald spengler

when the bad guys have all been defeated
and the armies of hell have all retreated
and the bards have nothing more to sing or say
what will humans do all day?

when all the walls have been wired
and the heavens have all been choired
and all the field marshals have retired
and the crackers have all been fired

and the last trick has been tried
and the last egg has been fried
and every knot has been untied
and everyone has looked around and gone inside

and all the arguments have been averted
and all the heathen have been converted
and all the weapons have been melted down
and all the kings have taken off their crowns

and every performer is applauded
and every artist is lauded
and every song has been recorded
and every masterpiece can be afforded

and the princesses have all been saved
and freedom granted to all slaves
and the dragons are all in therapy
what will become of you and me?

and everything unseen has been seen
what will fill up the screen?
will preachers find new sins
and everything begin again?

i hear a crescendoing hum
in a vast auditorium
the entire human race
has been brought together in one space

seating arrangements have been decided
coffee and donuts have been provided
all that is, will be and has been
is flashed upon a giant screen

a sudden whirl of light and shade
then silence - as the house lights fade
a figure strides upon the stage
opens a book and turns a page

the secret masters have done their job
the spectators melt into one big blob
of barely breathing expectation
anticipating defenestration

the blob can hardly catch its breath
the truth explodes like a bullet on meth
like an avalanche punch in the freight train gut
the final words - "and then what?"

Sunday, February 2, 2014

this is what i've been trying to tell you guys all along

she wore a homburg with style
as she floated down the nile
and her true self she hid
in a lost pyramid

as the train pulls out
the bag ladies shout
and the murphy men cry
for a slice of apple pie

everything looks the same
in the reflections of the brain
but the brain is a piece of glass
standing on the corner scratching its ass

the tiniest neutron, the farthest star
doesn't matter where you are
the universe comes up to you
blows you away and doesn't say boo

i was just talking to the guys
prepatory to delivering some pies
to an address on the west side
but you are never satisfied

are you? no you are not
you think your information is hot
but information like water
never gets any hotter

cleopatra's brain
is hard to explain
to an animal covered with fur
who wasn't even her

einstein's anchovy pizza
had some interesting features
which could not be comprehended
in a lecture that never ended

Saturday, January 25, 2014

sunny jim

once i had a monkey
his name was sunny jim
and every time i think of him
my eyes grow wet and dim

i met him in the circus
in december of forty-nine
we were breaking for the winter
and our prospects were not fine

he was only a monkey
i was only a bum
we headed for the highway
and i stuck out my thumb

i wish i could remember
all the things we did and said
i only know he was my pal
and that he is now dead

Saturday, January 18, 2014


if you scratch your toes
you bloom like a rose
if you scratch your neck
people say, what the heck

if you scratch your knee
move on, there's nothing here to see
if you scratch the back of your hand
welcome to the promised land

if you scratch your ass
you are regarded as crass
if you scratch your balls
they line you up against the wall

if you scratch your female parts
you practice the dark arts
but if only scratch your side
your mom will beam with pride

if you scratch your dick
brother, you're sick
if you scratch your head
you must believe what they said

when they put wires in your brain
that they said would ease the pain
of the diseases that you catch
when you first begin to stretch

the discombobulated mess
you call your consciousness
please excuse my foolish smile
i have lost my sense of style

Friday, January 17, 2014


i'm special. are you special, too?
let's go away together, me and you
to a magic world, where hearts are true
and no one can tell us what to do

we'll never have pimples, warts or hives
we will live our own lives
it will never be too hot or cold
we'll live forever and never grow old

i will pick you a new flower every day
and you will look at me and say
i never knew it could be this way
i love you more than the sun has rays

fairies and elves will bring us food
we'll never be in a bad mood
we'll walk beside an ocean deep
and the rain will sing us softly to sleep